Some kids are bossy, some kids are always screaming in public, some are picky eaters, and others are always whining. Calm down, parents. I can totally relate to all your worries because I used to be annoying like a Chihuahua when I was a kid. When I looked back after growing up, I just found that my mom was patient like a saint. Anyways, if you have an out of control kid, here are 5 tips that I found useful to my mother and me and would like to share with you.
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- Stay positive
This attitude may not have immediate efficiency but will indirectly build your children to be strong and positive adults in the future. Some parents may scold their kids, such as "why you so stupid? you are unable to do anything well!", "Why didn't you do whatever I said?", or "You're useless". However, even if children did something wrong and needed to be punished, those harsh words will cast an unfading shadow on their hearts. On the other hand, if you start adjusting the way you educate your children, such as "you did something wrong, but you deserve a chance to improve yourself", "I know the test is hard, but I believe you will get better at it", or "I understand and appreciate you have your opinions", children will be the ones who look on the bright side and always actively solve problems.
- Lead by example
Be the best person you can be as a parent and model integrity. Show empathy and help your child label and validate their own emotions. Your child's capacity for empathy and his or her ability to effectively communicate feelings with others will be invaluable for future success.
- Allow your children to make their own choices
Studies show that letting children plan their own schedules and set their own goals will make themselves become disciplined and focused, and to make wiser decisions in the future. Also, letting children choose their punishments will allow them to break the rules less frequently. Dr. Rich Gilman discovered that children who participate in structured school activities that they’ve chosen are 24% more likely to enjoy going to school. (Wong, 2020)
- Give them your undivided attention
Communicating well with your children is important if you want them to be communicative and active. Putting aside your newspapers and electronic devices, and listening to what they are saying to you will not only allow you to really understand them but build them to be communicative and responding people. Once they feel they are respected, they will also respect whoever talking to them in the future.
- Set reasonable boundaries for your children
Normally, parents always feel protective towards their children. However, Dr. Nancy Darling and Dr. Linda Caldwell found that effective parents explain the logic of the rules to their children. These parents state the principles behind the rules. In so doing, they form a closer, more understanding relationship with their children. If parents are excessively protective and controlling, children might not know how to make decisions for themselves or feel that their parents don't really care about them. Children need boundaries to make the most of their potential.
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