I read this article written by Paul Gilbert on the Guardian and would like to share it with you.
It's normal to show kindness or empathy to others when crises strike; however, Paul Gilbert states, "in times of tragedy and trauma, we need compassion to get us through." Why compassion? It is not the same thing as kindness and empathy, although these are ways of being compassionate. Our clinical work has led us to define compassion as the motivation to engage with distress and suffering and work to find ways to alleviate and prevent it.
So, to build a more compassionate mind, we need first to build enough courage to engage with pain and suffering and, second, commit to learning how best to help ourselves deal with this, and then do it.
Changes seriously affect us personally and socially. The distress of others affects us, too. Being compassionate means acknowledging that we are not alone, but instead are united with others who are also facing or trying to work with these difficulties.
We must acknowledge, too, that there are many different kinds of emotions erupting within us. These may include feeling anger that this has happened, or frustration about being in lockdown, the government’s lack of preparation despite medical warnings, and the history of cuts to health services. We may feel fear, anxiety about our health, jobs, and income, and sadness for our losses and tragedies. It will help if we can accept these emotions and work with them, rather than push them away or deny them, which can make them overwhelming and add to our misery.
This is where compassion comes in. When we are compassionate to ourselves, we can acknowledge these understandable reactions and, rather than push them away or stop feeling what is genuine within us, learn how to tolerate, bear and manage them without ruminating on or amplifying them.
As a species, we all face the same problems, not just with the current pandemic, but with climate change and gross inequality. As the coronavirus crisis has shown, these can only be solved by working together. Our grief reminds us to never forget what can be achieved when we compassionately orientate ourselves for the benefit of others with courage and wisdom. To live for the benefit of others will change the world; to live just for ourselves will not.
Source: Paul Gilbert and Hannah Gilbert, the Guardian
